my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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