I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
