mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
there was a trapeze. enough said
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
