I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
