I'm jealous of your bromance
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
