do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
