My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i think i just lost a toe
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
