the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
please come you make the beer taste better
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
