Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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