There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
