I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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