Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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