You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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