i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
