Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
