Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I intend to get homeless drunk
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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