He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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