In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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