Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
