Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
