Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
