You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
