I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
