just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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