Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
