And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
