$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I believe in your delicious
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
