idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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