capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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