Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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