pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dick very happy bro
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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