So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
