just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How external is "for external use only"?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
