we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
