walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
