May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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