I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
