Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
These tits shall not be calmed
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
