i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
