Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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