to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
