lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
