Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
