yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
