im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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