Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
