She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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