Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
