just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I intend to get homeless drunk
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
