Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
