after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
