My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You need a sexual gate keeper
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
